10.25.2016

Keeping Up With the Joneses

It's funny... words usually come to me quite easily. If you know me, you know I'm hardly ever lacking in something to say or how to say it. Probably the main reason I was a journalism and communications major. But today's post sadly didn't come to me quite as easily. I probably wrote this three or four times before combining all the rough drafts into today's final version.

I apologize in advance for the length, but I feel it's worth the read...



I hinted in last Friday's post that some changes were coming to this site and for me as a blogger. Now before y'all stop reading and write me off, hear me out. I assure you that I'm not going anywhere as a blogger and nor is this site. So let's continue :)

I'm merely shifting focus. But before I explain how, I first need to talk about why.

It all comes down to the question, "What fulfills you?"

It is a question that I've been asking myself a lot lately. As well as others have been asking me. Whether it be my mom or my Pastor at Church, this question has come up a lot more recently.

I'll admit something...

I've struggled with pressure almost my whole life. It's something I'm sure many of you struggle with as well, but some are more open to admitting that than others. But I've never shied away from being real and honest with y'all.

It's not the kind of pressure that comes from others though. It's the kind I place upon myself. Whether it be pressure to be the best I can at work, or pressure to get married, or pressure to find that next step in life or even pressure to accomplish the smallest task. I can be pretty hard on myself, and find at times I focus on the "what didn't" rather than the "what did."

Boom... that's quite the realization and admittance now isn't it?

But the first step toward combating a problem is realizing you have one, right?

This pressure finally came to a head a few months ago when I felt extremely overwhelmed and was constantly having anxiety about life, but mostly blogging. Ask any blogger; there's a constant feeling of needing to be better in the back of your mind. Produce better content, share better photos, gain more followers, and grow, grow, grow. There's nothing wrong with that! We should all want to be better and grow, right? Especially if your goal is to blog full time (kudos to those ladies/gents. Y'all are the real MVPs).

But I let that pressure escalate in a negative way. It drove me to the point where I was hating what I was doing, and was turning down opportunities to do things away from the computer or phone. Things that I love doing and that fulfill me.

I remember sitting on my phone posting a photo on Instagram. This was a few months back. I was really happy with how it turned out, had a killer caption and was very proud of what I had shared. That lasted all about 5 minutes till I scrolled through my feed and instantly started comparing myself to every other blogger. I was trying so hard to keep up with the Joneses, only to realize that it wasn't even worth keeping up with (in relation to me and what I wanted from blogging).

That is when I decided enough was enough. I realized that I had steered so far away from my original intent of starting a blog. It was supposed to be fun. And I told myself the day it started to not be fun... stop.

So I put blogging on the back burner and started spending more time offline.

Once I switched gears, I realized that blogging doesn't fulfill me the same way it used to. I want to get back into swimming and running, I want to cook dinner after work more, actually finish a book and I want to spend more of my free time getting involved at my new Church. And I want to spend time with my friends who have blogs, not just blogging about them. These are things that fulfill me.

Now don't get me wrong, blogging still fulfills me in a certain way too. But not in the way I had been doing it most recently. I didn't start a blog to make money, but to write. Writing is something I'm very passionate about.

Thus, I'm shifting focus on here. I'm going to get back to writing meaningful content, like today's post, and sharing things that truly matter to me. I love cooking and entertaining, and decorating my apartment. I love traveling and exploring DC. So I want to focus my time on doing things that fulfill me offline, and then sharing that online. No more filler content, or posting because I feel like I need to check in.

You're probably thinking, "okay so what does this actually mean?" It means I'll still be blogging, but not on a consistent basis. Some weeks there may be three posts (there will still be style content and holiday gift guides, don't worry!), but other weeks there may be zero. I'm going to blog when I have quality content to share. And I'm going to stop putting the pressure on myself to keep up with everyone else, as well as stop apologizing when I just don't get it all done.

Aside from this site, I'll still be maintaining all of my social media platforms daily. Honestly I'll have more time now to focus on growing those and sharing peeks into what I'm doing offline. That's a win there!

I hope y'all will stick with me, and hear me out on this. Basically I want to bring you quality over quantity. Less is more. I'm not going to be a top influencer and I never wanted to blog full time. So I merely want to focus on the other things that fulfill me offline too. I'm hoping this will come across as more interesting and genuine in the content I do share with y'all, and take the unnecessary pressure off my shoulders.

As always, I appreciate your support. Have a great Tuesday!

34 comments:

  1. Kristyn, I loved reading this. I had to stop and ask myself, "wait, did I write this?" because I could relate with each word. I am excited to continue following along with your blog even more so now! Thank you so much for writing this as I am SURE so many other women can relate!

    xo, Shelby
    www.prettyinthepines.com

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    1. So glad you enjoyed the post Shelby. Thanks so much for reading :) It makes things so much easier knowing we're not alone, and that many of us find ourselves in the same boat. Thanks for your constant support! Xo

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  2. I have felt the exact same way before and I've had to take steps back. What's insane to me is that I put ALLLL of the pressure on myself! No one is demanding I blog! So I've had to really have a reality check.

    The Adored Life

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    1. Right?! It's crazy!! We're just putting the pressure on ourselves, and letting it get to us. No one is making us do it, ha! So crazy to think about it!

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  3. I really loved this post. It was so honest and well written. I identified with it so much as well. I'm really excited to follow you and read more. Thanks for sharing!

    -Kasia
    www.ampersandblog.net

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    1. Thanks so much Kaisa for the kind words. Really appreciate them, and thanks for reading and following along! Xo

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  4. I loved this! I have recently had the same realization and was definitely letting an outlet I love get the best of me. I love your honesty and cannot wait to continue to go on your blogging journey with you lady!!

    xox Emily
    http://thestylehuntblog.com/

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    1. Thanks friend!! In the end, it's about the experiences and friendships I've made through blogging. So glad it brought me sweet friends like you! Thanks for reading and for the support :))

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  5. Great post, K! I think we have all experienced this at one time or another! It is so important to take a step back and take a look at your values and priorities, so thank you for this reminder! Can't wait for the shift and what your blog has in store for you!

    xo, Lauren
    www.itsallgoodblog.com

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    1. It totally is. Thanks for always being there, and being such an amazing friend!! Xo

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  6. I have been thinking the exact same thing recently! I haven't blogged in weeks - i think the pressure of "being a blogger" got to be too much. I'm still deciding if it's something I want to come back to... and if it is, it's going to be much more minimal than what I was trying to do. I think it's a great decision to LIVE more and do the things that fulfill you, whether that's blogging or not!

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    1. I totally agree Rachel! It makes it so much easier knowing there are a lot of us with the same mindset. The pressure really does weigh on you, so taking a break is most certainly necessary when that happens. Appreciate you sharing your story with me, and best of luck to you!!

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  7. Absolutely LOVE this post, Kristyn. It's like you took the words right out of my mouth. I think this is a philosophy we all need to embrace from time to time-- and will probably make our blogging THAT much better when we're living in the real world! Can't wait to see where P&P takes you next!

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    1. Thanks love!! Really appreciate your constant support and friendship! Xo

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  8. Such a great call to take time to regroup and figure out what's most important to you. I try to keep the pressure off by aiming for a few posts a month and by making deadlines that I know I can meet.
    keepcalmandchiffon.com

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    1. Great advice Austen, thanks for sharing!! I'm definitely looking a similar schedule as you. Thanks for reading!

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  9. I can so relate to this Kristyn! I have to remind myself to just do 'me' and focus on my own lane without comparing myself to others. Excited to follow along with you your new focus!

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    1. Yes!! I am working so hard to remind myself the same. It can just get too much sometimes, especially when you get really busy. Thanks for reading, and for the support! Xo

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  10. Love this post and could not agree with It more! I'm glad to see you're taking the time to do what's right for you and I'm excited to see where this journey takes you!

    xo, Melissa || www.greenpalatelife.com

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    1. Thanks so much Melissa! Appreciate your kind words and for reading!

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  11. Girl, I SO relate to this!! I think we would be besties in real life!!! Love your heart in sharing this!!

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  12. Can totally relate to this. For a long time I was on a "blogging schedule" and trying to keep up consistent content. I know that is important but lately I've scaled back to allow myself to blog when the creativity hits me. I'd rather post something I'm passionate about that will inspire others than just throw junk content out there. Getting back to what you love offline will always help you with your blogging. Good luck.

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    1. I totally, totally agree with you Theresa! I want to post content I'm 100% passionate about. Not filler posts that are just there to "check in" so to speak. So I'm definitely approaching things very similar to you, from here on out. Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts! Xo

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  13. This is EXACTLY where I was a few months ago and just had to walk away completely for a while. Blogging had become a burden. I had to refocus and regain perspective on what I wanted my blog to be. I will never have 200K instagram followers. And that's ok! I was done placing all my worth and value in a number. I love that you shared this today! Sending you a great BIG hug! Xo

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    1. Thanks lady!! Yeah, I read your post a few weeks back and it was so inspirational. I totally agree with you. I'm never going to have hundreds of thousands of followers. Honestly, that freaks me out just thinking if I did, ha! So I need to stop putting so much pressure on myself to be that, when it's ultimately not what I want. Thanks for reading and sharing :)) XO

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  14. This was such a great read. I think we ALL put way too much pressure on ourselves...because we can ALWAYS be better in some way. I've taken steps away before too, and it's always helped me. The pressure to post X times per week is way too stressful. I always try to remind myself that no one will care if I miss a day/week...so there's no point on wasting time publishing content that I'm not proud of!

    Best of luck rediscovering your passions!

    Jackie
    Something About That

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    1. Thanks for reading and for sharing Jackie!! You made a lot of great points. Things I definitely need to remind myself :) Xo

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  15. I think a lot of bloggers have been feeling this way lately - you're not alone! I think it's great that you're taking a step back and not letting yourself feel pressured to churn posts out. We have to take care of ourselves!

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    1. That we do!! Thanks for the kind words about the post Rachel, and for always being such a supportive and loyal follower. Hope you had a great weekend!

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  16. I hear you girl, great post! As a D.C. teacher, that takes up most of my life, I always worry Love. Life. Beauty. is going to fail if I don't write more often, but that totally defeats the point of beauty blogging for fun!! Love your courage to put this all into writing, I know so many others feel the same way! xo

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    1. Thanks for sharing your story too Elizabeth!! Makes it easier knowing we're not alone. Thanks for reading and for the kind words :) xo!

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  17. This is so true and so timely! I was so stressed this weekend about everything I have to do on my personal to-do list that when my husband asked me what was actually on that to-do list I said that I was too stressed to talk about it! That's when I too realized that a lot of the things causing me so much anxiety were supposed to be fun! I think taking a step back to re-evaluate who's driving your life, you or your to-do list, is one of the most valuable things you can do. I would always rather read something thoughtful every now and then than something less thoughtful every day. Can't wait to see what's next!
    xoxo,
    Catherine
    Classic Catherine

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    1. Thanks for sharing Catherine!! Appreciate you reading, and for your support :) xo!!

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