It's funny... words usually come to me quite easily. If you know me, you know I'm hardly ever lacking in something to say or how to say it. Probably the main reason I was a journalism and communications major. But today's post sadly didn't come to me quite as easily. I probably wrote this three or four times before combining all the rough drafts into today's final version.
I apologize in advance for the length, but I feel it's worth the read...
I hinted in last Friday's post that some changes were coming to this site and for me as a blogger. Now before y'all stop reading and write me off, hear me out. I assure you that I'm not going anywhere as a blogger and nor is this site. So let's continue :)
I'm merely shifting focus. But before I explain how, I first need to talk about why.
It all comes down to the question, "What fulfills you?"
It is a question that I've been asking myself a lot lately. As well as others have been asking me. Whether it be my mom or my Pastor at Church, this question has come up a lot more recently.
I'll admit something...
I've struggled with pressure almost my whole life. It's something I'm sure many of you struggle with as well, but some are more open to admitting that than others. But I've never shied away from being real and honest with y'all.
It's not the kind of pressure that comes from others though. It's the kind I place upon myself. Whether it be pressure to be the best I can at work, or pressure to get married, or pressure to find that next step in life or even pressure to accomplish the smallest task. I can be pretty hard on myself, and find at times I focus on the "what didn't" rather than the "what did."
Boom... that's quite the realization and admittance now isn't it?
But the first step toward combating a problem is realizing you have one, right?
This pressure finally came to a head a few months ago when I felt extremely overwhelmed and was constantly having anxiety about life, but mostly blogging. Ask any blogger; there's a constant feeling of needing to be better in the back of your mind. Produce better content, share better photos, gain more followers, and grow, grow, grow. There's nothing wrong with that! We should all want to be better and grow, right? Especially if your goal is to blog full time (kudos to those ladies/gents. Y'all are the real MVPs).
But I let that pressure escalate in a negative way. It drove me to the point where I was hating what I was doing, and was turning down opportunities to do things away from the computer or phone. Things that I love doing and that fulfill me.
I remember sitting on my phone posting a photo on Instagram. This was a few months back. I was really happy with how it turned out, had a killer caption and was very proud of what I had shared. That lasted all about 5 minutes till I scrolled through my feed and instantly started comparing myself to every other blogger. I was trying so hard to keep up with the Joneses, only to realize that it wasn't even worth keeping up with (in relation to me and what I wanted from blogging).
That is when I decided enough was enough. I realized that I had steered so far away from my original intent of starting a blog. It was supposed to be fun. And I told myself the day it started to not be fun... stop.
So I put blogging on the back burner and started spending more time offline.
Once I switched gears, I realized that blogging doesn't fulfill me the same way it used to. I want to get back into swimming and running, I want to cook dinner after work more, actually finish a book and I want to spend more of my free time getting involved at my new Church. And I want to spend time with my friends who have blogs, not just blogging about them. These are things that fulfill me.
Now don't get me wrong, blogging still fulfills me in a certain way too. But not in the way I had been doing it most recently. I didn't start a blog to make money, but to write. Writing is something I'm very passionate about.
Thus, I'm shifting focus on here. I'm going to get back to writing meaningful content, like today's post, and sharing things that truly matter to me. I love cooking and entertaining, and decorating my apartment. I love traveling and exploring DC. So I want to focus my time on doing things that fulfill me offline, and then sharing that online. No more filler content, or posting because I feel like I need to check in.
You're probably thinking, "okay so what does this actually mean?" It means I'll still be blogging, but not on a consistent basis. Some weeks there may be three posts (there will still be style content and holiday gift guides, don't worry!), but other weeks there may be zero. I'm going to blog when I have quality content to share. And I'm going to stop putting the pressure on myself to keep up with everyone else, as well as stop apologizing when I just don't get it all done.
Aside from this site, I'll still be maintaining all of my social media platforms daily. Honestly I'll have more time now to focus on growing those and sharing peeks into what I'm doing offline. That's a win there!
I hope y'all will stick with me, and hear me out on this. Basically I want to bring you quality over quantity. Less is more. I'm not going to be a top influencer and I never wanted to blog full time. So I merely want to focus on the other things that fulfill me offline too. I'm hoping this will come across as more interesting and genuine in the content I do share with y'all, and take the unnecessary pressure off my shoulders.
As always, I appreciate your support. Have a great Tuesday!