A new installment of my dating series is here! Today we're talking about games. No, not the hunger games. Although, that is an excellent movie. What we're going to talk about falls more inline with a Backstreet Boys ballad or clip from the movie He's Just Not That Into You.
I have received a TON of wonderful feedback from my first two dating posts. Thank you!! Many of you find yourself in the same boat as me. If this series continues, we may need to charter a cruise ship instead of the tiny vessel I am imagining us all on. Nonetheless, we're "all in this together." Sadly, Zac Efron is not on the boat with us. Ugh.
Any who... games.
No, not an amazing football game where the Tennessee Vols crush the Florida Gators. Yes, that will happen this year. No, not the amazingly talented Jennifer Lawrence aiming her bow and arrow at Julianne Moore. We're talking the games men play. No, not sports. The games with our feelings. Truth be told, we all play games. Not just the men. Giving you lovely gents a pass in today's post. Cause like I said, we're all in this together. We're all at fault here.
It's like this...
You spend a lovely evening at your local bar hangout, chatting up a nice fella and dreaming about how THIS man is finally the one. Yes, the one. You only tell yourself that, so that on your wedding day you can claim to the world that you knew the very first date you'd spend the rest of your life with him. Don't lie. You know it's true.
After this enchanting evening of small talk, a few Bud Lights, and exchange of "so glad to meet ya's," you head off into the magical distance of walking yourself home.
Now you're home. You text your group chat of besties, "oh.m.g. ladies. He's amazing. We just have so much in common. Like, he's definitely different than all the other a-holes I've dated lately." They all send countless excited emojis, "so happy for you" texts, and the ultimate number one question is then asked....
"So, when are you hanging out next?"
AHHHH! Let the panic ensue. Y'all never discussed this. I mean, you had a great time. So you're definitely hanging out again. Right? You both share a deep appreciation for Game of Thrones. So this is meant to be. RIGHT?!
You then reply with the dreaded, "I don't know. He'll text me, right? Or should I text him?"
Then, your friends usually split in half. Team Old Fashioned vs. Team Feminist
One friend says you should wait. Don't text him. Play hard to get. The other friend says, this is 2016. Men want women who show eagerness. Show interest. Show they aren't afraid to make a move. Right? Or do they? Gents, I'll let y'all weigh in on this one.
So you spend the next hour or so, going back and forth with your gal pals. Do you text him, or should he text you. You worry. You fret. You start freaking out, because it has been an hour and NO TEXT FROM HIM ON HOW MUCH FUN HE HAD. Sigh.
You ultimately decide to play hard to get. No text. Goodnight. Point for Team Old Fashioned.
ALL the next day, you wait. You wait. You eat lunch. You wait. You start panicking, because he hasn't texted. I mean come on. You gave last night all you had. You left everything on the bar stool.
You head home. No text. So you decide to tackle every menial task within your to-do list, solely to keep your mind off waiting for a text.
EUREKA!! A text.
"Hey, what's up?"
THAT's IT?! I waited all this time for a "hey, what's up"?! That's the best he can do?
So you then text your gal pals and conjure up the appropriate response. One that doesn't seem too excited, but gives just enough info to continue the convo.
You text him back.
You then wait ten minutes or so, because a. you don't want to seem too eager. Like you were waiting by your phone all day. and b. he made you wait, so now it's his turn. Hashtag games.
GAWWWWW, it's exhausting. Even just writing this (and you, probably reading this). Am I right? This is the cycle we go through every dang time. The process of games continues and continues. But I won't make y'all sit here all day reading the nonsense we put ourselves through. It's ridiculous honestly. What ever happened to going after what you wanted? If you like the girl, call her and ask her to hangout again. If you like the dude, text him. It's simple as that. Point for Team Feminist.
Now, don't get me wrong. We all love the thrill of the chase. So there's a necessity for the mystery sometimes. But it honestly just gets so exhausting. I mean, do guys really get turned off because you texted him back within two minutes? Is it really that hard to just text a girl if you're interested? No and NO!
In relation to these consistent over thinking mind twisters, is it really that hard to just say you're not interested in someone anymore? This is the flip side of the games. Why does it have to be this logistical nightmare of a puzzle to piece together?!
If you go out on a date, or three, there are possible outcomes where both parties aren't interested in pursing things further. Shocking, I know. So instead of playing the game to just "keep up with the Jones's here," be upfront. Can people not just be honest anymore these days? Ladies (and gents), will respect you ten times more if you're just honest. Ladies (and gents), stop using people like they're a pawn in your local chess match.
I know it's groundbreaking here, but seek what you want and you shall find. If you're looking for just a hook-up, say that. If you're looking for a relationship, say that. If you're looking for something somewhere in the middle (although no one ever knows what this really means) say that. Revolutionary, I know. Say what you mean and mean what you say people. If you don't want a relationship, say it.
The Olympic size lengths some people go to are insane. Stick to a basic tennis match here, as like I said.... games are necessary to provide the mystery in a newly forming relationship. Let's leave the more involved competition to the real athletes of the world. K? Thanks! (gifs via)