4.27.2016

Dating, Vol. 2: Digital Dating

Last week during my off week of blogging, I really took the time to think about how I wanted to proceed with this series of posts. There are so many topics I hope to cover, so many stories I want to share, and I really want to hear from y'all about your dating journeys as well.

But before we can delve into these "sub categories," we must first talk about the overarching umbrella they fall under... the world of online (digital) dating.

One of my favorite reality TV stars said it best... (start the video around 1:00 or context is below)

"There's no mystery or romance anymore. Women make themselves so available. You can email somebody an emoji of a glass of wine, and they come over and you hookup and then they go home. I mean, it's the end of western civilization as far as I can tell!" 





Side note -- if you don't watch the show Southern Charm on Bravo, you need to start now. It's my favorite show on TV. Probably because it's about a group of 30-something Southerners living in one of my favorite cities, Charleston. Most of them are a hot mess, but the lady above and another star, Cameran, definitely are my Southern soul sisters.

Any who, back to our regularly scheduled discussion...

Patricia said it best... digital dating "is the downfall of western civilization as far as I can tell." Okay, so that might be a tad dramatic, but the overall sentiment behind her point rings true. We discussed this a little bit in the first post of this series. But let's move on from discussing the overall dating generation we live in, and discuss the cause of all such controversy... online dating.



I probably shouldn't admit this...... but I am.

When it comes to online or app dating, I have tried almost all of it. Yep. (in my head i'm thinking, why the heck did I just admit this. but whatever. judge me if you will, but y'all have all done it too.) I have downloaded most of the apps, tried Match.com and reluctantly did the free trial of eHarmony after much convincing from some friends. Thanks guys! Obviously, none of it has worked out.


I met all kinds of men on those things:


The hipster whose jeans were tighter than mine (and y'all know I love my skinny jeans)...

The man who took me to a five star restaurant wearing skinny jeans, a wife-beater and silver cross chain necklace (he also HATED football, so it never would have worked out anyways)...

The guy who was 6'8 inches tall...

    - I'm 5'6 by the way -

The guy who said he was 5'11 and was actually 5'5...

The many men who act interested and then ghost (disappear) after days of chatting or texting...

The man who proceeded to turn our "date" into me helping him find a job in politics...

The man who took me to a beer pong tournament for our "first date"...

And my ALL TIME favorite, the man who matched with me, but then proceeded to message me and say that a 23-year-old was too young to be on Match.com and that I was probably a "nice girl" but he didn't need "gold-diggers" clogging up his feed. SERIOUSLY!!

Yep... these aren't just made-up men. I assure you, they do exist and these dates surely did happen. The actual stories behind each one are pretty hilarious, and I'm sure I'll share more details about them in future posts. But for now, this is just a little "taste" at what makes me so qualified to write these posts.



I do want to preface that I have met some great guys on those sites as well. One of which I still talk to two years later. We had a great few dates, but ultimately our lifestyles (he traveled for work four out of seven days a week) didn't match up well in order to date. But we've remained friends ever since. So these apps aren't entirely bad. And hey, myself and many of you are on there. And I know we're all great people.

But my point of today's post is that we're relying too heavily on the instant gratification of these apps and sites. In a matter of seconds we can swipe right and match with the cutie who works down the hall, or some rando we've never met but apparently have 100 mutual Facebook friends with.

In a matter of minutes we can choose the next guy we're going to meet up with simply by looking at five (sometimes only two) pictures.


"He has a dog!" - SWIPE RIGHT

"He likes to golf!" - SWIPE RIGHT

"He posted a picture with someone I assume is his sister (we're just going to go with it), so that means he is a family man!!" - SWIPE RIGHT

"He vacations in Italy!" - DEFINITELY SWIPE RIGHT

"Ewww, he wears cargo pants!" - SWIPE LEFT

"Ahhh, this guy seems so genuine. He volunteers at an animal shelter!!!" - SWIPING RIGHT, NOW

We are judging our next date, hookup, boyfriend or for some, soulmate, simply by determining how this person must be based on their photos and sub-par "about me" blurb. THIS is how we're dating now. It's insane to me. Call me old fashion, but I'd much prefer to judge a guy in person and after a few minutes of conversation.



These apps and sites have made dating easier in larger cities, yes. Especially with how busy all of our lives are. I won't discount that. Yes, it can be hard to meet people these days. People are so focused on their careers, various activities and hanging with their core group of friends, that it can seem impossible to meet new people. So I can't discredit these apps or sites for that reason.

But it's how we use them that is ruining our dating culture.

Rarely do you find a guy these days that is using the app to make a genuine connection. Most of the time they're simply looking for "the next best thing" or "just a hookup." Rarely are they looking to establish a connection with someone and hope it leads to a relationship.

Guys can be on a Tinder date one minute, and when the girl goes to the bathroom, they can instantly swipe right and start talking to another connection. For them, it's amazing!! The world of women is literally at their finger tips. Literally. (I'm sure some women are guilty of this too!)

So how is one supposed to date in the digital age of instant gratification AND a generation constantly looking for the next best thing?? THIS is a topic I'd love to discuss more, but because I don't want y'all sitting here reading my rambling all day, we can continue in another post. For now, I want to hear your thoughts on dating in the digital age. Leave in the comments below!

All Images via Thought Catalog
Kristyn does not take credit for any images used.

13 comments:

  1. SO love that you mentioned your favorite man with the chain [insert laughing/ crying cat emoji here]. As queen of the ghosted/ 4 time unknowing sidepiece, I will admit that online dating has been more bad that good, but I did get one of my best friends and an amazing man out of it (eventually) so I guess it's worth it!

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    1. HAHA it's one of my better stories, I agree :) Honestly, we're all in the same boat. As much as it sucks, it's nice to know we're not alone. And eventually one good apple will fall from the tree ;) XO

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  2. Heyyyyy! What's wrong with cargo pants?

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    1. Haha I was just using that as a reference because it's not every girls taste. If you like them, nothing wrong with it!!

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  3. I'm very young (18) and I have used 2 dating apps for a while. Although many problems do arise, I have made 1 best friend out of it, one ex, and my current boyfriend, who, by far, has been the best relationship I've ever had. A lot of times, I will admit, it is kind of silly to find love online. But without this intermediate, I would have never met this amazing boy, since he lives about half an hour away and we have no connection whatsoever.

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    1. So glad to hear of your success with the apps :)) that's so wonderful!! Like I mentioned, there are definitely some great men and women on these apps. It's all about finding the good ones, and sounds like you have. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!!

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  4. Preach, girl. At least you live in a city where people appreciate college football! Guys in Miami aren't half as into it as I am, it's crazy! Definitely a no-go if they can't spend a Saturday watching a game.

    Loved it!

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    1. Ahh, yeah I don't know how you do it. Football is LIFE haha I definitely agree!!

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  5. Girl, online dating is THE WORST! I haven't had a single success story (although I did have the ultimate horror date when the guy took me to a Steampunk festival- ahh! Even better was that I was wearing a preppy maxi dress from the Loft- so NOT Steampunk material!) It's nice to know that we are in this crazy together!

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    1. OMG girl!! Yeah, that doesn't sound ideal at all. Guys really just don't get it sometimes. First dates are supposed to impress the girl, not scare her away, ha! Yes mam!! Glad we have each other for support and to share stories with!! Xo

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  6. This is too funny! I've heard so many stories from my friends who have done the online dating thing. So many crazies! But there also have been a few success stories as well, so you never know!

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    1. Thanks Rachel!! And totally agree. There are most certainly success stories from the apps and sites as well!!

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  7. Searching for the Ultimate Dating Site? Create an account and find your perfect date.

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